It's really quite simple. Chopped iceberg lettuce, sliced onions, sliced black olives, shredded mozzarella, and good Italian dressing (not the sweet bargain brand). It's my favorite salad.
“Iceberg lettuce?? EWWWWWW!!!!” That's what most of my friends would say.
“I don't like iceberg.”
“I will only buy the organic dark greens.”
“Iceberg doesn't have any flavor.”
“We only use baby spinach and Romaine.”
Yeah, yeah (blah, blah, blah) …. Well, guess what? For every person who says they are absolutely disgusted by the mere suggestion that their salad might contain traces of this obviously poisonous vegetable, there are probably fifteen heads sold.
So … if no one I know likes it or would dare inflict it upon their delicate constitutions, then who is buying it?? Why are there so many heads in the produce aisle? Why do I see people walking around with 2 or 3 of them in their shopping carts?
I can only infer a couple possible answers.
- Most of my friends are pretentious snobs.
- Most of my friends are full of baloney.
Or maybe it's none of the above. Maybe I'm the only person on earth who buys the stuff.
Yeah. That must be it.