Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Lettuce Is Greener On The Other Side??

It's really quite simple. Chopped iceberg lettuce, sliced onions, sliced black olives, shredded mozzarella, and good Italian dressing (not the sweet bargain brand). It's my favorite salad.

“Iceberg lettuce?? EWWWWWW!!!!” That's what most of my friends would say.

“I don't like iceberg.”
“I will only buy the organic dark greens.”
“Iceberg doesn't have any flavor.”
“We only use baby spinach and Romaine.”

Yeah, yeah (blah, blah, blah) …. Well, guess what? For every person who says they are absolutely disgusted by the mere suggestion that their salad might contain traces of this obviously poisonous vegetable, there are probably fifteen heads sold.

So … if no one I know likes it or would dare inflict it upon their delicate constitutions, then who is buying it?? Why are there so many heads in the produce aisle? Why do I see people walking around with 2 or 3 of them in their shopping carts?

I can only infer a couple possible answers.
  1. Most of my friends are pretentious snobs.
  2. Most of my friends are full of baloney.
Or maybe it's none of the above. Maybe I'm the only person on earth who buys the stuff.

Yeah. That must be it.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

A Brisket In Every Pot

There's a brisket on the stove, slowly coming to a boil.  It's going to simmer for three hours. Then it will sit for twenty minutes in the water before I remove it to cool. After it cools it will take a wild ride (one chunk at a time) in the food processor, then get spooned (okay, dumped) out onto several pieces of waxed paper, which are then rolled into tubes and frozen.

Why do I go through all this trouble?  Why not just buy a can or two of corned beef from the local grocery store? 

Two reasons:

1. Price - Have you seen the price of canned corned beef??  Mama Mia!!  The cost of one can is usually somewhere around $4.99 and in most cases it isn't even a full pound. When it's on sale brisket is a full buck cheaper and I can usually get the equivalent of six cans out of one large hunk of meat. (Nana would be proud.)

2. Flavor - The canned stuff tastes a little bit like dog food smells. Yeah, I know that was an awkward sentence. Nevertheless, it does, and while corned beef is an acquired taste to begin with (especially the boiled stuff), I think I can do better. 

You might ask if we will be having the "traditional" corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day. Um ... probably not.  First of all, they don't really eat corned beef and cabbage in Ireland. It's an American thing.  We'll probably have Guinness Stew and colcannon, both of which are traditional Irish dishes. 

So, why the brisket?  Well, because it was on sale, we like it, and I'm cheap.  Why else?