Will you be my friend? Ummm ... No.

Will you be my friend?

No.

That's not the answer most people want or expect, but many time it is the answer they receive from me, especially on social media sites.

You might say it isn't very nice to say no to a friend request, especially from someone I know.  However, let's put this issue into perspective, shall we?

First, I used to be quite well-known in a former life (before we moved to the middle-of-nowhere Catskills).  That said, there are still people who think I'm their pal, when in reality I have no idea who they are.  I have to be careful of that.

Secondly, I'm a teacher.  Students who know me are prone to want to be facebook friends, etc.  I must be extremely careful to stay on my side of the line.

Thirdly, if things get back to me at work that are twisted misinterpretations of something that happened on facebook, it is a bad thing.  Very bad.   The vacuum cleaner will come out and it will suck up entire groups from my friend list in a hurry.  Believe me, it has happened before, and it isn't fun for anyone.

Finally, I don't want to be inundated with a bazillion useless status updates every day.  I want to enjoy my time on facebook without constantly clicking delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete .....

So,

Here are the guidelines for being "friends" with Tenorboy.

1. I have to actually know you.  This might seem like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised how many friends of friends I get who want to be my friend, just because both of us know so-and-so.
2. I have to have some friendly connection to you.  I know a lot of people.  Some are friendly to me, some are not.  If you are not, don't bother trying to be my social media friend.  It ain't gonna happen.
3. If I work with you, I most likely will befriend you IF you pass a simple but strict screening process.  The process?  I check all of your friends and their friends to make sure none of the office "moles" are present (you know who they are).  If you come out clean, we can be friends.
4. Students are accepted after they turn 18 and graduate, IF they meet all the other friendship requirements.  
5. Friend requests from family members are accepted.       

This might seem like overkill, or like I'm being paranoid or weird.  But let me point out that everyone (that's right, EVERYONE) has a similar set of criteria for facebook friendship.  I wrote mine down here on this blog.  You didn't.  That is the only difference. 

So, if you didn't get accepted as my friend, please do not take it personally.  Just understand that you may be too young, or too distant, or you had a history of mistreating me, or I simply don't remember you. 

That's just the way it has to be.