Of Checks and Dignity ...

OK, so it has now been 4 months since the flood adjuster came to evaluate the damage to our house from Tropical Storms Irene and Lee, and so far ... no check.

Wait, that isn't entirely true.  We did get an advance and a loan from the credit union, with which we were able to purchase a furnace.  Now we have an installation bill hanging over us (underlined and highlighted in blue this month, to serve as a delightful reminder that my credit score is plummeting with each overdue bill). 

I call the insurance agency a couple times a week, and I stop by whenever I go to Sidney for the mail.  They can only tell me that there has been some movement, and that checks are beginning to be issued (I hate the grammar of that sentence, but I tried it a couple other ways, and they turned out equally yucky if not worse) Sorry for the digression ...

This evening I emailed my assemblyman to complain about the insurance company and the unfairness of the whole situation.  I figure I've kicked this donkey everywhere else, now I'm going to kick it in the ass (no offense intended to Assemblyman Lopez) to see if it moves.

**********

The part that bothers me the most about this situation is not the fact that we aren't back in our home.  It isn't that I'm afraid the house won't be repaired, or even the amount of time it is taking.  

What bothers me is that, every time someone makes a point of telling me what I should be doing, or that I'm not doing enough, or that So-And-So got HIS check 2 months ago ... I feel a little "less." Less of a husband and father, less competent, less courageous, less ... just "less." 

I probably shouldn't feel that way, because I know what I have been doing to remedy the situation.  I'm trying REAL hard to be brave and to not bother others with my misfortune,  you know, go about my business and leave the rest to God. 

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

... Later!

Nana's Noodles

I decided to write down some memories from my childhood before I forget them.  I want a record of the events that happened during my life, so that my children will be able to piece together a history of their old man and his somewhat eclectic past.

This story is about my grandmother on my father's side.

Nana made noodles.  Egg noodles, to be precise.  She would announce, seemingly to the entire world, that she would be making noodles this week.  Then she would be incommunicado until the project was completed.

I remember walking into her house one time in the midst of "noodle week."  Her dining room table, kitchen table, coffee table, kitchen counters, and several folding game tables were covered with linen towels, top with noodles that were dusted with flour, in various stages of the drying process.  Nana was busy in the kitchen, placing noodles in paper lunch bags, then folding the top of the bags and stapling them closed.  On each bag she used a black crayon to write the person's name and the number of bags that person was to receive.

She sold each bag of noodles for half a dollar.  Of course, our noodles were free, as were those for her close friends.  She made a fabulous egg noodle - not too thick, not too thin - and we knew, without a doubt, that Mom would be making her signature beef noodle soup with Nana's homemade noodles.

I never really thought about the fact that Nana would sell her noodles by the bagful.  As a kid, I figured that she just loved to make noodles.  It wasn't until later that I realized that she was selling them to earn extra cash for things like, oh, Christmas presents, birthday presents, a new stove? 

You see, the endowment my grandfather left her was enough to keep her well into her retirement years.  But Nana lived far longer than that, longer than the money in her annuities.  She was resourceful and strong, and knew how to make ends meet, even into her 80's.  She never wanted to depend on anyone for her financial upkeep, and never wanted to be indebted to anyone.  She was a cool old lady.

They were great noodles.



...Later!

My Hero: April 28, 1930 - January 6, 2011

My hero went to Heaven one year ago today.  It seems like it was just yesterday in some ways, and like a distant memory in others.  For those of you who knew my father, you know what an honest, kind, gentle man he was.  You also know his highly evolved, warped sense of humor. He was the best Dad ever. 

For those of you who didn’t know him very well or not at all, here is a small glimpse of the man ….

• He knew which restaurants had broccoli soup on any given day, and he knew how much it cost.
• Dunkin donuts - A glazed donut and a cup of coffee.  Every morning.  And a dozen assorted for the family on Sunday morning.
• “Horse Shit.”  It was his favorite thing to say when he disagreed with someone.
• He loved Victoria’s butter creams (milk chocolate, not dark), and those little bags of cheese waffles.  He kept a secret stash of them in his desk drawer at the office. 
• When in doubt, “throw a tarp over it.”
• He cleaned the kitchen whenever he was upset.
• He shopped for groceries every day.  Alone.  He once told me it helped him clear his head.
• He took Taffy (our Collie-Irish Setter mix) for a walk every night.  After Taffy died, he still went for the same walk, almost every night.
• He loved canned peaches and spaghettios.
• Wednesday was auction day, come hell or high water.
• He didn’t have it easy in the business world.  Because of some decisions that were made before he inherited the business, Dad spent a lot of energy and cash making good on those decisions while other insurance agents were raking in wads of money.  In the 12 years that I worked for him, I saw first-hand the way a misguided decision could affect future generations.  Enough said.
• Many days he was so busy with his paperwork that he would forget to inhale his cigarette. There it was (Camel- no filter), hanging from his lip with at least two inches of ash on the end of it.
• He made sure the family vehicles were full of gas, and that they were parked in the most convenient spot, according to the times everyone had to leave the house in the morning.
• He could take a sheet of plywood and a can of pink paint, and turn it into the cutest play oven you’ve ever seen.
• He had a highly evolved (and somewhat twisted) sense of humor, and could make anyone feel good, just by being near him.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  He was the most generous, kind, gentle man I ever knew.  It is my deep desire to live up to his example, and to impart his legacy of kindness and generosity to my children. 

I miss you, Dad.  Save a place for me.  See you later!!

Another New Year ....

Well, folks, it looks like 2011 is almost in the can, and it's time to ring in a new one.  Let's kick the old one to the curb and start over.

Let's face it - we all make resolutions for the new year, whether we admit it or not.  I'm no different, as I have a list of things I would like to do / improve in 2012.  Whether I will find success is a topic for a future post ...

Anyway, let's get on with it, shall we?

In 2012 I will:

• Be a better disciple for Jesus.
• Be a better husband, father, brother, friend.
• Be more genuine in my dealings with people in general.
• Take better care of myself (exercise, eat well, shave - sometimes, dress better)
• Pay my bills on time.

Is it going to be easy?  Probably not, even though the list is purposely un-detailed. I'm not a detail person, so I figure I'll improve my odds if I don't provide specifics, ya know?

So, that's it.  My list of resolutions for 2012.  Sounds easy, right? 

Right. (Totally).



...Later.

Some Thoughts About Christmas 2011 ...

Christmas 2011 has come and gone, and I'm left with that "it-didn't-really-feel-like-Christmas" feeling.  I don't know ... there wasn't a warm, cozy feeling this time around.  I'd like to say it would have been different if Dad were here, but I don't think it would have made a difference.  We just came unglued is all.  Everyone came undone and lost the relationships that once, at least on the surface, seemed so important.

Many of you already know that we are not living in our own, comfortable home, we don't have our things, our beds, our chairs or tables, or our Christmas decorations and lights.  We did, however, buy a small pre-lit tree, and find the stockings to fill with assorted items that will be great fun to open, when we get back to NY.

The worship services were wonderful this year, but I can't help being put off by the fact that we were asked whether we wanted to have a service on Christmas.  I - I don't know what else to say about that, except ... "Are you kidding me?"

No birthday cake for Jesus this year, a time-honored family tradition, gone by the wayside. (*sigh*)

Sometimes (read "many times") I miss the old days, the days when it was fun to go shopping downtown for Christmas gifts.  The stores were decked with holiday lights, there was music playing in the streets, each gift came with a box (often with free gift wrapping as well), and there was a sense of community - a friendly air around town.

Christmas morning would come and everyone would be bursting with excitement to open gifts, not only to get things, but also to see the reaction on the faces of loved ones as they opened their gifts.  We would gather at Nana's house for dinner and all the cousins played all day long. In the week that followed, we would visit our aunt's and uncles for parties and fun.  Ahhhh, the good old days.

This Christmas did NOT resemble those Christmases.  At all.

2012 can't get here soon enough for me.

End of rant


... Later.

One Tractor-Trailer

Today was a busy Christmas Eve.  We had much to do and not enough time.  Even at this writing, the car hasn't been packed for our Christmas trip to Grandmom's house.

On any given day, when crunch time comes the frantic pace increases and nerves wear thin.  Tonight was no exception.  It was time to get dressed for church, and the children began their usual ritual of running around, screaming, teasing one another, and basically doing everything except getting ready for church.

The result?

Crying children and frustrated parents.

AND

No supper until after church (there wasn't enough time to drive thru McDonald's because they wasted so much time getting ready).

As we drove down the interstate toward our church (about a half-hour drive)  we passed a rest area.  It's the same dingy, old, campground-like rest area that we pass every week as we make the same drive.  Tonight, however, something caught my attention.

There was one tractor-trailer parked, lit up with full parking lights - you know, the lights they turn on when they are settling in to sleep for the night.

Christmas Eve.  One truck parked at the rest area.  Alone.

Christmas Eve.

Suddenly my hectic day didn't seem so bad.

A Simple Christmas

Christmas at our house will be simpler this year than in years past.  Perhaps it’s because we don’t have a lot of cash to spend (a flood, a fire, and an extra rent check take a toll on family finances), or maybe it’s because we aren’t in our own home, surrounded by our familiar belongings.  Perhaps it’s the artificial tree, sparsely bedecked with dollar-store ornaments that are strange and unlike our usual collection of handmade adornments.  

Gifts will be few but meaningful, as each family member, young and old, realizes the blessings that we have in each other. 

Our children are less materialistic than before; they have lost so much, yet gained a deeper understanding of what is important.  Sure, they have their moments of selfishness and their usual bouts of stubbornness and “she-took-my-doll” episodes, but they have an appreciation of our situation and the incredible blessing it is to have a doll in the first place.

Yes, it will be a simple Christmas, and we will enjoy it more than ever before.